Desentary Gary

I'm not sure if i spelled that right, but that song has been stuck in my head for about a month now.

Being home is strange, everything i remembered. Like:
1. argueing with Anthony
2. playing board games with Joey
3. hanging out with Brittany (i got to meet Brinley!!)
4. Going to Church and feeling awkward....
5. seeing elder maughan and wanting to punch him :)
6. missing everyone back in SLC
7. Dodging guys!!

I have to say i like my life back in utah more than my life here. Besides my family.

Back Home

I'm home in orlando until the 6th of january,

It's been fun today is Ethans birthday!! We hung out with Marshae and Caleb and Joey, we went to the church and saw elder Maughan, i guess he was sick, i don't know...he told marshae that he could here my voice. It's wierd.

Tonight we are having Ethan's Birthday Dinner!! He's 12 can you believe that?!?

It's pretty exciting, he gets the priesthood this sunday. I am so excited for him!!

I'm really excited for this up coming semester!! more later

One year Six Months

I've used that one before too. It's been a month since I last wrote. I've been in school for a month. Thats Crazy!!!


Today Mariah and I are having lunch with poopie! I'm really excited!!!

More after?

Silence

I got a blessing today for the start of the semester.

I was told that all the questions i have will be answered this semester. This is sticking with me.

I'm so excited for school to start and i can't wait to get back into the rush of it all. And to get caught up in the student life. I'm excited for homework and projects.

I'm trying to figure what questions i have and further i'm scared of the questions i have being answered, i'm scared of not being able to handle those answers or being crushed by them.

more tmorrow after school.

Tapper Jean Girl

So I'm pretty much sure no one reads this. Which is totally fine with me.

I have a job interview on Monday!! At a funeral home. maybe I'll get the job?? I sure hope so! I think it would be cool to work at a funeral home.

School starts in about 3 weeks! I can't wait!! I've missed school for about a year. I can't wait to get back into the swing of things!! Haha I can't wait to have homework and papers believe it or not.

Suspension

It's Wed for another twenty min or so.

He asked me how long i'll be in Utah for. Why? I'm scared because i asked him why. And tomorrow will be Thursday which is generally letter day.

"Say Anything But Say What You Mean...'Cause I'm Caught In Suspension"

This is ridiculous though right? I guess whats scary is that if i don't get a letter i'll feel like crap because he will have left me hanging with this question that has thrown me for the past two weeks.

I've been spending a lot of time helping Corina and Dianna with their wedding ideas and helping them. It's good for me. I like helping.

Girl At The Rock Show

Over the past 2 months that i haven't written I've been to a Thrice show. That was absouletly amazing!! Me and Jordan had a blast and I can't wait to do it again.

Over the past weekend we drove down to Rachel and Riley's wedding! It was so great! on the way there i got to lay in the street and watch the stars and i got to see some shooting stars wich was wonderful. On the way back from the wedding we got to see the grand canyon! We watched it rain over the Canyon. It was majestic to say the very least.

Light Years Away

I'm pretty aure that I've used this title before, but it's so fitting.

I've been looking back at my life or atleast over the past year... I feel like in every aspect I am a different person. A year ago I was so preoccupied with Anthony and I didn't see how bad he was for me, don't get me wrong he is still one of my best friends but I know now that he was not the one for me.

Aside from that, i wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life exactly, I thought that being home could be a good solution but being home for the time that I was had to be the darkest time in my life as far as my decisions...I made some wrong decisions while I was home and I thought that I was smarter and stronger than I was. But I'm past that now and I'm a stronger person than the person I was back then.

Also I have met some of the most amazing people in the past year, I can't even explain how much gratitude I have for my new friends like Dianna and Zach! I usually don't like new people but they are both really good people and I don't see them having a malicious feeling in their hearts.

I have also lost a best friend in the past year, I was played for a fool and It still really hurts but I've learned a lot from the situation, and I know who real friends are. And i'm grateful for the experience that I've had.

So in about 2 weeks I'll be 21 and I feel really old haha. But in my 21 years I've lived so much and I'm looking forward to living for as long as I'm given.

This past year I've also come to understand my spiritual gifts I am so happy for that! it has blessed my life and my families lives and I'm so grateful....

I just felt like baring my soul today. Take it how you will.

Down With The Sickness

Thats right, I'm currently infected witht hte flu. I hate it more than words can even discribe. Other than that Salt lake has been great lately. Mariah will be here in a week so I'm excited about that. I don't even remember the last thing i wrote on here.

I'm living with Jessie and Bryanna now, Cassi moved back to Idaho. Enough about that.

Me and Dianna are super close right now, she's in the best friends catagory for sure!!

Me and Kaylee and Dianna made a trip to Idaho that was a lot of fun. I got to go to Idaho and Oregon. I was so axcited!!

I think I'm getting a job a KSL, doing promotions...how awesome would that be?

Volcano

I'm not sure what i'm doing up at 3 in the morning, but here I am.

I'm so tired butmy brain won't stop. I've had a sick feeling the past 2 days. Currently enjoying some Damien Rice.

Time for complete honesty? Sure

I don't know if i've mentioned this but I've been spending a lot of time studying the scriptures, and praying for some guidence. I've received some answers and it's time for some changes in my life, changes that are needed to make my goals become reality. Even though it's going to be tough it's going to be wonderful...

I'm hoping to make another Provo trip soon! I really need it! Plus I love it down there.

Good things are going to start happening.

Don't Cry Out

So, Since i last wrote i've spent some time down in Provo. It was a bunch of fun! Hopefully i'll be there next weekend too.

When i got back from Provo i heaeded up to Bountiful for a family dinner, and it was so great! The next day was Trevors Homecoming so we went to his ward and over to their house and that was a lot of fun too.

On the down side, I got a $300 ticket...so today i'm getting a bus pass.

Whatcha Say?

I know thats an awful title for a blog but it makes sense to me. One of the few things that does.

I haven't written in about a month. A lot has hapened for sure! Cassi and Cecil got engaged for real about a week ago. Riley moved up here from Arizona to be with Rachel. I'm so happy for both of the couples. I'm really happy that our group gets along with both Cecil and Riley.

Rachel and Dianna are moving to Provo, I'm pretty sad about that but it gives me an excuse to be down there more often. Also Maria Baron is down there.

I'm trying to convince her to come visit me this weekend. So then I can show her all kinds of places here in SLC. Cassi is staying here in Utah for the summer. Jessie is moving in our place for about a month. So that should be interesting, I hope that nothing goes wrong seeing as Jessie has been really cross with us lately and stepping on toes for sure.

I'm currently at Rachel and Dianna's we are watching Pride and Prejudice....I remember 2 years ago seeing this movie for the first time and Maria Baron trying to liken the movie to our ward and Rob...I still believe that about the ward...not about Rob so much, we never fought. Funny how things go.

Back Home

I've just realized that for this blog i use a lot of Yellowcard song titles.

Well. I might move back home i know crazy right i guess it just depends where i can find a job. I kind of miss home though.

Britt had her baby! I'm so excited for her and Bronson!!

Things basically fell apart with friends and by friends I mean the Dewskies, i'm not going to get into all the gory details but we aren't really friends anymore. It's all good

Corina and Jared are coming this week I'm really excited!!

Lucky?

So, I don't know what I last wrote about. I don't know much of anything anymore. I wake up everyday hoping to figure things out.

Me and Jon are singing Lucky from Colbie Calliat and Jason Mraz at Cassi's wedding. It's pretty cool, I'm not sure about my singing voice but everyone else seems to have faith in it. We'll just need to practice before hand.

I've gotten really close to Jon and his roomates over the past few weeks. Not exactly sure how i feel about that either I mean I really like all of them so thats good. I should probably figure out what exactly i feel for Jon.

Mariah is pretty sick still, she's going to the hospital today and she'll probably have to have surgery. I wish they would just figure it all out!!!

I think I'm just going to give up on Monster, I mean think about it...I'm just a stupid girl. And I basically need to get over it.

Light My Way

If my life has ever changed so much in a week this week has been it.

Cassi had a friends named Jon that I asked to hang out with the Saturday that Cecil was here, I only asked him because they were friends. Over the past week and some says I've seen Jon everyday. I've become close to his roomates Zach and Danger Dave too, the other one Bruce is nice but we aren't really that great of friends.

Zach is a lot like Rachel, Cassi is a lot like Danger, Bry and Bruce are a lot alike and they say Jon and I are alike, I'm not sure I see it.

I'm looking forward to another letter from Monster but again I keep telling myself that it won't happen. I'me having a really hard time in my life right now believing people are genuine. Maybe thats why theses changes are happening. I have to say I'm a little scared.

Embers and Envelopes

So yesterday I got a letter in the mail, Haha. I wrote a letter back but I won't send it until monday.

It's Valentine's Day weekend, I'm supposed to find a date, I don't know who though.

Echo

So I've been in salt Lake for about a week now. I've met a lot of new people and I really like the ward. Grandma and Grandpa gave me and Cassi a bunch of stuff for the house. Grandma also took us shopping for groceries. Now it's all about finding a job which we are going to do today. I hate looking for a job but it's worth it.

I've already made enemies at the apartment complex, his name is Bruce, I really don't like him.

I sent a letter out, I really hope I get one back, but I really don't think I will.

The Suffering

Last night was really bad for me, I was trying to find a song for Cassi and Cecil to dance to at their wedding and the song "best day" from Taylor Swift came on. I thought it was a love song but it was a song about her dad. I decided to listen to the song and the tears started flowing, I haven't seen my dad in two years. I stared thinking about how my dad is missing out on our lives and how we're missing out on his. Then the thought came to me that my dad will not be able to go to my wedding, it didn't help the crying. I don't want someone else at my wedding, i want my dad, I know that at this point in time that can't happen.

I woke up this morning swollen eyes, and feeling a bit discouraged.

Pain

For those of you who know me really well know I'm mortified of needles, and today I had a root canal. Needless to say it wasn't a really fun experience. The dentist was fantastic though! He used a microscope! I think thats really cool.

Only 3 more days until I leave for salt lake! Words can't describe how happy I am for this new adventure!

Black Ballon

So, I'm Moving to Utah on the 26th and I'm really excited about it.

I have a feeling that it will be a good thing, I'll be living with Cassi and right by the rest of the girls all but Rachel. So we should have a lot of fun.

Cassi and Jordan are picking me up from the Airport which is really nice, they are good friends.

Moving back to Orlando in May was a really wierd decision I made, I'm still not exactly sure why... but I believe I'm beginning to understand it more.

Cassi is dating a guy named Cecil, they are thinking about getting married, I'm really happy for them!!

I wrote Trevor an Email, he'll be home from his Mission in April, I also wanted to ask him some advice.

I really think moving back to Utah will be a great thing for me.

Empty Apartment

I say empty apartment because of the two moves i'll be experiencing this month the first is over. We are now at the new condo, it's so much better than that apartment!! I think this is a good move for my family.

In a week I'll be moving back to Utah, I'm really excited! I'll be living with Cassi, she's already at the apartment. It's very empty.

SO I'm giving a talk at church today, on homes it's a little ironic.

I downloaded a bunch of Thrice music, I'm really enjoying it.