Up All Night

There are certain things that I swore I would never deal with.

I was wrong. The past month and a half of my life has been a roller coaster of emotions and heartbreak.

About A Girl

Over the past month I have been on a crazy roller coaster. I think every part of my character has been questioned.

My spirituality as been questioned so I bore my testimony. I talked about my family and the way I want to raise my future family. I explained my love for God, and my relationship with Christ. I talked about my strengths and my weaknesses. I opened up to someone that I care about.

This month I sat in the grass with that same person and I was told I was beautiful, and I believed it. This month I let you hold my hand and kiss me.

I stayed around waiting for you to make up your mind and it hurt a lot. If I seem insecure or traumatized it isn't because of my family it's because I was being told different things every few days. I've learned so much about you and you about me. I'm letting you go, go out and date see what there is out there.

Please Take Me Home

GAHHHHHH!!!!

Thunder

I never thought anything could be better than it was before. I never thought I could feel safe and strong and beautiful like that again. To relate to another human being so much is inhuman in itself. But this feeling is crucial to every plan ever made. And yet things as simple as standing in the rain make me so happy.

I don't know what you want from me, please don't let it hurt. Torment, thunder, thoughts.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Aliens Exist!

Last night me and Danielle went to Jared and Ryan's and we played rock band. I got them to play Blink even though Jared doesn't really know who they are. Ryan was Mark, Me and Jared were Tom on vocals and guitar and Danielle was Travis on drums. We were fantastic!!

We were over at their house until 2:30. It was a lot of fun!

In our apartment we are celebrating Easter today, Mariah is making a big dinner and we even have Easter baskets. haha

I have 3 days of school left! It's crazy!!

This summer is going to be the summer of Music!! We are going to see so many bands, with the free concerts in the park again and just a bunch of bands coming through. I really hope to see thrice again. I think I would enjoy it a lot more this time around, because i know even more of their music.

I have been playing video games like crazy lately with the boys, I've played Left4dead, Bioshock, Halo, and Fear 2. It's crazy I think I like left4dead the most.

More later, probably after school gets out.

Sunshine

Sometimes life is hard and it changes you and then you look back and you see the changes made and you THEN think "Ok, this was worth it."

But other times life is wonderful and you change, and you still think "Ok, this was worth it."

Sometimes someone comes into your life totally unexpected and they make you happy and they let you feel good about yourself and others. I love that. So I love this. My life for the past month or so has been like a movie. Maybe I'm Prideful and maybe he is Prejudice. But on Thursday's we go to the Tabernacle and we listen to the organ and he gets excited about Bach, and I get excited about life. We aren't perfect for each other, we are the Sun and the Moon. Different, but each shinning brightly.

On another note I have decided to change my major from Marketing to Behavioral Science. What does that mean? It means I will hopefully work for a Police Department or the F.B.I doing Criminal Profiling. Wierd right? I know but I love it.

I also want to express my love and gratitude for my roomates, I know that sometimes I can be hard to live with and I have a attitude about somethings but I love and appreciate you all. P.s Our apartment is the cutest college apartment of all time. Not to be boastful.

I'm excited for summer. I'm excited for life and I'm excited for all the happiness that is going on in all of my friends and families lives. I just hope I'm not jynxing it. =]

Untitled

I haven't written in FOREVER!

So I'll catch you up. We are in our 6th week of school now. My favorite class this semester has to be Psychology, I'm even thinking about changing my major to Behavioral Science. We'll see.

Now the roomates are me, Mariah, Dianna and Kamye. It's a nice set up and our house looks AMAZING! We all have pretty great style.

I'm still teaching sunday school and I still really like that but I want to do something new, I mean I've been teaching for about a year now.

Name

I thought today about my trip home, I only saw a few friends and I spent most of the time with my family. Which was great.

I've realized though that my life is in Utah now. My friends there are probably going to be the friends that I have for the rest of my life. Besides Brittany, who I got to see on this trip...I don't have things in common with my friends here. Our priorities are different. They are still great amazing people but our lives are completely different.

It's hard for people here to know me. They don't understand why I won't drink with them...or other things. It's just a different lifestyle. I value different things, and that's ok.

I go back to Salt Lake tomorrow and I start school on Monday. I'm excited. I'm excited for this semester. I'm excited for the next 6 months. I'm excited for life!

Here Is Gone

Music is my life line.

I'm in a crazy state of life right now where I don't feel much of anything. Not happiness, or sadness, or anger. Today I know I'm sad...but i don't feel it. If that makes sense. Even my memories are feelingless. Is there something wrong with me? Probably.

But when I turn on my ipod and Mae, Thrice, Blink, Blue October, Rise Against, Jack's Mannequin...and countless others flood my head I feel alive. It's good. I think every song I know reminds me of someone or a memory.

Music. Defines me. When the whole world is gone, I have my music. My sanity.

So how about this, leave me a comment...and I'll tell you a song - or album that reminds me of you =]

Funhouse

Happy New Year!

It's now 2011. I don't think I usually make a big deal about the new year, but I feel like 2010 was just a lot of questions (??). What I'm saying is there wasn't a lot of clarity. I met Dianna who is my best friend. That was good. I also met Mark and Krissy and Chelsea and Reed, they are great people. Those people make me want to be a better person. I went back to school, which is great!! 2010 wasn't bad.

BUT 2011 will be better. Right?

Last night I was good. Last night I walked... no ran away from Satan, it was good. I am better than that! I am worth more than what you expect of me. I don't follow any rules especially not yours! Don't tell me you care. You don't.

That's what I learned in 2010. That I'm better than the mediocracy that this world sets as the expectation. I am divine and I deserve such things.