I hope that no one reads this entry. Let me tell you why, I'm not ready. I'm not ready to give my heart to another person. I'm not ready for the vulnerability that comes with love. I've been dating Tyler for 2 months and I've been really cautious about falling in love with him...but I'm afraid that it will happen. He's the best guy that I've ever dated there is not even competition. He is so honest and selfless and caring. Not to mention that I love his family, I spent the 4th of July with them and had a blast! I love his mom...she is special. I felt like she knew me and she had never met me before. It was a weird thing I told Tyler about it and he said his mom has gifts like that. I believe him.
I'm not there yet but it's slowly getting there. The more that I learn about him the more I care about him.
He told me about how Nathaniel died yesterday...I woke up in the middle of the night crying. I never even met him and I was crying. Maybe because it was at 3 in the morning or maybe because I've been to the point before where ending my life seemed like an option...but I couldn't do it. Nathaniel did. I can't even imagine that. I wish I could have met him. It really makes me sad like deeply sad. I feel like he had the courage I didn't even though most would say it was the other way around.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
Can't Stop
School is kicking my butt. However, I love all my classes except math haha. The past week and a half-ish have been really strange. I've started to branch out a little in the ward. Everyone is so nice, and really inviting. It's interesting seeing how everyone interacts with each other. I'm learning a lot too. I remember when I thought Andrew was a player. He has nothing on some of the guys in this ward. haha It's fine they are still all really nice. Some of the people in the ward that I never thought would talk to me are becoming my good friends. It's a little scary. And the one boy in the ward I said that I would never date is paying a lot of attention to me lately, it's not like he isn't attractive or nice. I just always thought he was really stuck up. He really isn't though, I think he is just shy.
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